Toddler Trouble - Tips for Tantrums

Toddler tantrums and the consequent need for toddler taming is one of the greatest preoccupations, and biggest challenges facing parents and carers of two to three year olds. At this stage in their development your child can leave you feeling desperate, exhausted, guilt ridden and unfit for parenthood - so much so that your behaviour may end up rivalling that of your wilful toddler!

In this article, I will try to explain WHY some toddlers tantrum, WHAT TO DO about it, and if all else fails, offer you options for WHAT TO DO NEXT.

WHY?
The ultimate goal for a developing child is to become an independent adult.  Tantrums signal the beginning of this journey, when self-awareness kicks in.  Especially the realisation that they can be separate from their parent/carer, with control over themselves and others. As a free-standing individual, they begin to identify and express their needs. We have all heard our little ones insist that “me do it”, or repeat “no” defiantly. The difficulty is that this natural drive for independence and control is compromised by limited language skills (your two year old will use only about 50 words), underdeveloped communication skills and the realisation that the world is opening up, in all its’ chaos and confusion. Most toddlers cannot express their psychological needs in words, they have to rely on behaviour – and their frustration results in the variety of behaviours known as tantrumming. This can include shouting, hitting, biting, throwing things, and some children even stop breathing as a means of expressing their frustrations and gaining control.

WHAT TO DO?
While your child is testing the boundaries and trying to make sense of his/her world………
• Offer unrequited love and a secure, safe haven whenever the need is there.
• Establish a regular daily routine with stimulating activity, to include periods of downtime. Remember overstimulation can be as problematic as no stimulation, especially before bedtime.
• 3 C’s – CLEAR, CALM and CONSISTENT setting of boundaries. Your messages must be simple.
• Starve the tantrum of oxygen by ignoring it/walking away – make sure your child is safe.
• Take a break and refresh your batteries when possible!  Separation from your challenging  loved one can be as valuable as time together.

WHAT TO DO NEXT?
As a homeopath I tend to see children once things have got “out of control” and tantrum behaviour is significantly affecting the child and/or the family concerned. Warning signs may be unacceptable behaviour or development issues at school, violent behaviour towards family members, friends or domestic pets, or indeed, hyperactivity with outbursts of anger. Homeopathic remedies, are natural and safe, without side effects, and correctly prescribed, have the potential to calm and modify your toddler’s behaviour.  Remedies I commonly prescribe in these circumstances are Calcium Phosphoricum, for rebellious, reckless behaviour in otherwise sociable and loving children: Tuberculinum for children who are sweet and charming one minute and mean and malicious the next and Calcarea Carbonicum for toddlers who can be wilfully stubborn and defiant. Contact me for information, advice and consultation.

It is always advisable to consult with a qualified homeopath before administering remedies